


God, Help Me

by sometimes_i_am_lola



Series: Wildfire [6]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Infidelity, F/M, Good Brother Klaus Hargreeves, Hurt/Comfort, Not Beta Read, Protective Klaus Hargreeves, Pseudo-Incest, The Author Regrets Nothing, Vanya Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Why isn't this a tag yet?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-13 07:32:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18464359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sometimes_i_am_lola/pseuds/sometimes_i_am_lola
Summary: Vanya and Diego dealing with the events of All or Nothing and the aftermath.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, wow, I love writing for this fandom. Thank you to everyone for all the nice words on this series. You're all awesome. The song for this one is God, Help Me by Leah Blevins. If any of you have any Diego/Vanya songs that are your favorites, feel free to let me know. Enjoy.

 

**_You’re like graffiti on an old boxcar, written in the darkness like the scars on my heart,_ **

 

DPOV

 

Running into her on the street was never the plan but it should’ve been. They live in the same city. And yeah, it’s a sizeable city but the chance has always been there. He’s out with Eudora and they’ve just left some fancy French place the he hadn’t liked at all but went to at her insistence. Diego is trying to make this thing with her work. She’s his first serious relationship besides the one that he won’t acknowledge and only one other person knows about. Okay, two other people.

 

Well, three people but one of them is dead.

 

And that sounds terrible, even in his own mind and he silently apologizes to Ben.

 

It takes Diego a second to realize there’s someone with her, he’s so focused on her. It’s always been that way and a few years isn’t going to make much of a difference. Not even that book made a difference. And he hates that book. Hates the way it makes him feel. Hates that she saw so much of him but didn’t see what mattered. He doesn’t know if he’s made that she didn’t mention their relationship or if he’d have been madder that she did. Either way, she left it out completely like it had no impact on her life. It wasn’t even a footnote.

 

Seeing her now, he can’t help but look her over. She’d let her hair grow out some but not by much, maybe a couple inches. Or wait, she’d cut it again because the photo of her on the back of the book has longer hair.  She’s still beautiful but her face has lost some of its roundness. Her cheekbones are sharper, her face leaner.

 

The man with her is nearly as pretty as she is. _He’s not her type at all_ goes through Diego’s mind before he shoves it away. And then he sees the man eyeing his knives as realization flits across his face.

 

Eudora wraps a stiff arm around his waist and he knows he’s being strange but he’s angry. Eudora knows how he feels about that book and the person that wrote it. Well, okay, not really how he feels. But, mostly how he feels. Because while he still has sentimental feelings for Vanya, he doesn’t want to, he’s with Eudora, he likes Eudora.

 

He puts an arm around Eudora’s shoulders and watches as Vanya wraps her arms around herself. Diego’s curious about that and so is the man with her as he looks at her with concern.

 

“I’m sorry, it was nice to meet you but I have to go.” Vanya says without looking at either of them and rushes off past them.

 

“Um, sorry. Vanya’s not feeling well. It was nice to meet both of you, though. Have a nice evening.” The man says and follows after Vanya.

 

Diego doesn’t even think about it as he moves away from Eudora and turns to watch the man catch up with Vanya. He watches as Vanya looks over her shoulder once before putting her arm through her date’s arm and leaning her head on his shoulder.

 

“Diego?” Eudora calls loudly. He glances at her and continues walking the direction they’d been going.

 

They make it all the way to Eudora’s house and he’s still angry. So many memories are trying to break free. Good and bad. Trying to get out some of the excess aggression he’s feeling, he slams the door, preparing to change and go on a patrol, find a bad guy to beat up.

 

“If you’re going to throw a fit and act like a child, don’t bother coming to bed.” Eudora tells him in a tone he doesn’t recognize.

 

He pauses and looks at her. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

She scoffs at him.

 

“What does that mean? It means I feel like the only adult in this relationship most of the time. You always have a bad attitude, you don’t know how to talk about anything, much less feelings, I barely know anything about you except what was written in that book you claim to hate so much but have read a dozen times.”

 

She throws her hands around and stomps her feet as she yells and he’s kind of amazed. He’s never seen her act like this before, didn’t know she had it in her. It kind of reminds him of Allison when she didn’t get her way.

 

“You run around in a costume and try to make your daddy love you and all the while you’re terrified to have an actual relationship because apparently you’ve never had one before. You’re just a scared child, Diego, and you need to get over it.”

 

“You done?” He asks her as he waits by the door patiently. He doesn’t respond to her yells and taunts, just waits her out and asks if she’s done. He doesn’t need this tonight. Not tonight.

 

She glares at him and he takes that for an answer, heading towards her bedroom. It takes her a minute to follow him but he’s already walking back out, having grabbed his bag and the few items he’d left sitting out already.

 

“Where are you going?” Eudora asks him, her tone confused as he moves towards the front door.

 

He stops and stares at her, unsure if she’s serious right now. She’d thrown a full-blown tantrum for no reason and she wants to know where he’s going. So, he puts his bag down and faces her fully and tells her.

 

“I’m going home. Back to my place. I won’t listen to a hypocrite. You say I’m acting like a child and yet you’re the one throwing a tantrum in the living room, screaming and stomping your feet when I’ve done and said nothing for you to act that way. I slammed the door, that’s it. And maybe I shouldn’t have but I’m allowed to be angry, Eudora. I spent a long time not allowed to express my feelings, barely allowed to have them. I won’t apologize for it now and I can’t believe that, after everything, you’d want me to.”

 

Grabbing his bag once more, he leaves.

 

The walk back to the gym is long but he doesn’t mind. It helps him clear his head. He’s surprised Eudora had acted the way she had and he doesn’t know what to tell her. It’s the first time they’ve had a fight that didn’t end up with them naked. He’d actually walked away.

 

That’s new.

 

Going into the gym, he decides against a patrol and instead changes into gym clothes and decides to hit the punching bag for a while. It doesn’t help him forget but it helps to wear him down so he can get some sleep. After he showers, of course.

 

**_2x7_ **


	2. Chapter 2

 

**_One town over words startin’ to spread, you’ve got another woman lyin’ in our bed,_ **

 

VPOV

 

Vanya apologizes to John when he catches up with her. She can’t resist a last look at Diego to see him glaring at her. Taking John’s arm, she lets herself lean against him, using the support he offers. He walks her home and leaves her at her door with a kiss and a promise to call when he gets home so that she knows he’s okay. She knows what lurks in the dark, she knows the danger.

 

Changing out of her suit and cleaning her face free of make-up, Vanya pulls on a pair of leggings, thick wool socks, and an old black shirt that she keeps in the bottom of her drawer. She pulls out a bottle of apple cider and some fireball whiskey, making herself a hot drink even though it’s barely fall outside. Tonight is a night for something a little stronger than herbal tea or cocoa.

 

Her phone rings as the cider heats and she has a quick conversation with John, saying goodnight and agreeing to talk tomorrow, maybe get lunch or something. She hangs up and fixes her drink before going over to her old record player that sits in the corner of her living room near the window. She puts on Sweeney Todd and keeps it turned low as she settles on her couch and pulls out her journal to write. It’s something she’d started doing when she was still going to therapy and she’d kept up the habit even years later. Her bookshelf is filled with journals, some only a month long and filled to the brim, others spanning a few months.

 

Unable to stop thinking about seeing Diego earlier, she carefully writes about her thoughts and feelings, remembering how things used to be between them, years ago. She can’t help but wish she still had the optimism of her eighteen year old self. But life has worn it away over the years. It feels like a lifetime but it hasn’t even been a decade. Maybe half a decade.

 

She writes in her journal and refills her drink until the words blur and she’s pretty sure she’s well on her way to being drunk. She’s probably written enough tonight alone that she could start a new book. But she won’t. She would never write a book about the things in her journals.

 

Instead of going to her bedroom, she pulls the blanket from the back of the couch and wraps it around herself and goes to sleep in the living room.

 

She wakes up early the next morning to pounding rain and crashing thunder that shakes her apartment building. She jumps at the noise and flinches at the flashes of lightning that accompanies another crash that shakes the building. Tucking her hands into the shirt she’s wearing, she wraps her arms around herself and moves closer to the window. The rain is so heavy she can barely see outside and she considers opening the window.

 

Finally, she does, after getting a couple of towels to soak up any rain water that make sit past the fire escape. Trying to flip her lights switch lets her know that the power is out, at least in her building, and she lights a few candles. The rain eases up but the thunder and lightning don’t and she gets the strangest sensation that it’s like a reflection of her inner turmoil.

 

But, she’s sure that plenty of people romanticize the notion that the world reflects their pain, or even their happiness.

 

Her sleep had been plagued with memories of living at the Academy and spending dreary afternoons in the parlor with Diego. The dreams had shifted into the darker territory of her walking through the empty and dark halls calling for Diego, her mom, Five, Ben, even Reginald, and no one answering her. A dark room with one window in the heavy door at the end of a hallway.

 

Vanya hasn’t had nightmares in years but last night there had been plenty.

 

Pulling her shirt closer to her body, she tucks her face behind the fabric and imagines it still holds the scent of soap and Diego. She misses him so much and it’s her fault. If she had stayed at the Academy, or searched him out once she knew he’d left, too. She could have done a lot of things differently and now she can’t. He’s with someone else.

 

And it’s not like it is news to her.

 

Klaus had told her, the few times they’ve talked since she left, that he’d brought a couple girls to the Academy, much to Luther’s and Reginald’s vexation. And after he left, Klaus had seen him out and about with a girl or two. So, she knew that, in the abstract sense, he had been with other people. Just like she had.

 

But hearing it and seeing it are two different things she figures.

 

Thinking about it isn’t helping her any and the storm outside is getting stronger, raging through the city with a callous disregard for anything in its path.

 

With a sigh, she’s forced to close her living room window, though she leaves the towels on the floor for the moment. She grabs her fire whiskey since the apartment is so cold and she’s feeling bad about everything in her life. She crawls into her bed and buries herself under her thick comforter, drinking straight from the bottle as she ignores the tears brimming in her eyes and spilling over.

 

There’s no noise but for the thunder and rain as she lays there and tries to forget the past, forget that she ever knew Diego Hargreeves.

 

That she ever loved him.

 

That she still does, after all of this time, and always will.

 

**_2x7_ **


	3. Chapter 3

 

**_Oh, it’s dangerous but it feels so good, she’ll never know you like I used to, help me, help you, help me, baby, help you,_ **

 

DPOV

 

Diego isn’t surprised when he gets a call from Eudora on Sunday. She doesn’t mention their argument, or rather, the argument she’d tried to strike up. She doesn’t mention it and neither does he, choosing to letting it go and hoping she’ll forget the reason for her tantrum. He won’t pretend like he doesn’t know her reasons, not to himself. But he also hadn’t done anything wrong. He can’t change his feelings and he doesn’t think his anger is so misplaced. Maybe he hasn’t acknowledge the full extent of the things he’s angry about but some things are better left unsaid. Some things are better left in the past, in the dark.

 

He goes to Eudora’s house and spends Sunday night with her and all day today. Monday. They spend a lot of time in bed and he knows that’s her way of getting things back on track. Of reaffirming their relationship, as it is.

 

But, something hasn’t been right, still. He’d woken up to an empty bed but hadn’t thought much of it before getting in the shower. Now though, he feels like he’s in the calm before the storm, like Friday was just a preview. He has pretty good instincts, growing up the way he had. He knows how to avoid fights and keep the peace. He just usually doesn’t bother.

 

Stepping out of the shower, he dries off quickly and gets dressed for the night. He has to patrol. Or rather, wants to. He tries to do it a few times a week, sometimes every night. Lately, he’s noticed that something is stirring up in the darker parts of town. He doesn’t know what, but something is happening.

 

Patrolling Saturday hadn’t produced much since a storm had hit during the early morning hours and hadn’t dissipated all day. A few times it had slacked off but then came back full-force before long. The gym had been empty, though, and he’d enjoyed the solitude as well as the storm.

 

As he walks into the living room, full gear strapped to his body, he watches Eudora get to her feet. She’s drunk, he’s surprised to note. She never gets drunk. His stomach sinks slightly as she sways before righting herself.

 

“Tell me, Diego, why try to impress a man that’s never going to be impressed?” He expects her to slur her words but she doesn’t. Her tone is slightly acidic, though. “Or are you too scared to give up that part of your life?”

 

“You’re drunk, Eudora.” He tells her, not wanting to get into an argument, just wanting to leave on patrol. She can sober up while he’s gone, or go to bed.

 

“Are you scared to try to be something new? Are you scared that if you try to be something else that you’ll actually have to let go and move on?” He feels like he swallowed lead as her words start to take hold of him. There’s a sinister note to them, as if she’s playing with him until she can strike his most vulnerable parts. This is why he doesn’t do relationships. They all try to tear you apart in the end.

 

“Don’t do this.” He wants to beg but that’s never been in him. Not even when he was a kid, as short as that time was.

 

“Why, Diego?” Eudora moves around the coffee table, her glass still in her hand as she tries to confront him with glazed over eyes. “Are you scared that the memories will fade? Are you scared that she won’t love you if you’re not the Kraken?”

 

Diego can only shake his head but he feels the pain. The panic. Of course, this is where she intends to strike. He’s not sure how she figured it out but he won’t give her the satisfaction of admitting to it. He won’t give Eudora that ammunition. If she wants to burn this relationship to the ground, that’s her business, but he won’t let her have anything else to hurt him with.

 

“Does she love you, Diego? Did she ever love you? Does she care about you like I do?” He doesn’t have to ask who she’s talking about, won’t ask. If he asks and she tells him, he doesn’t think he can deny it. And then what? She should go talk to her. Eudora could find Vanya and tell her. And even if Vanya didn’t believe her, what if Vanya found him? What if she confronted him or told him that Eudora came to her? What if he saw Vanya again? Talked to her? Would he survive it?

 

Diego doesn’t want to answer any of those questions so he stays silent and heads for the front door, glad that he has everything he needs for patrol. Eudora steps into his path, though. He thinks about walking around her or moving her out of the way but he hesitates and she moves in for the kill.

 

“Does she love you like I know you love her? Does Vanya know that you’re in love with her?”

 

She says her name. Eudora says Vanya’s name and he can’t deny it, just like he knew he couldn’t. He wants to close his eyes and pretend it didn’t happen, he wants to hope it’ll all go away. He doesn’t know how she knows but he wishes Eudora didn’t. She might keep it to herself, she might not. But he can’t stick around and wait for the fallout. Eudora lit the match but he won’t fan the flames. He won’t help her with this. She won’t put it on him when everything falls apart.

 

Turning away from her and trying to disguise his panic, he moves towards the bedroom and repeats his actions of Friday. This time, however, it goes faster since he hadn’t unpacked a single thing out of his bag without repacking it. He’d had a feeling.

 

His hands shake as he grabs his bag and steps through the front door, saying nothing this time. There’s nothing to say.

 

He slams the door behind him and walks home, considering, for the first time in a long time, going byt the apartment that where he knows Vanya lives.

 

And he does, hours later, after dropping his stuff at home, after patrolling, he finds himself on his fire escape, thinking about crawling inside and waking her and beggin her to take him into her bed, into her life. He doesn’t wake her but he does go inside.

 

**_2x7_ **


	4. Chapter 4

 

**_Go ahead and touch her, you’re setting me free, burn it down ‘cause that’s all it’ll be,_ **

 

VPOV

 

Vanya keeps having the dreams. They don’t go away and they interrupt her sleep, leaving her constantly exhausted. She starts noticing that she’s forgetting to close the window, or closing it when she’d intended to leave it open. She has to start wondering if she’s imagining things when she’s laying on the couch one evening and pulls the blanket over her only to smell the familiar scent of Diego, something she hasn’t smelled since shortly after she’d left the Academy. But, for now, she takes what she can get and holds that blanket tightly to her, breathing it in deeply.

 

Diego’s name is on her lips more than a few times when she wakes up in the middle of the night, sometimes she cries it, sometimes it’s a gasp. Every time, it send she heart racing in fear and longing. So many times, she thinks about asking Reginald or Klaus or Luther, or anyone, how to get in touch with him. Just to find some kind of closure or something. Anything to ease her mind and heart.

 

But, in the end, she does nothing, letting herself suffer for the pain she knows she caused him in the past.

 

“What’s going on?” Vanya asks once she notices that the movie she’d been watching with John is paused. She’s not sure when she’d zoned out on him but she can feel the guilt seeping through her. She’s been doing that a lot lately.

 

“I don’t think this is working out.” John says and she’s confused at first.

 

“What? I thought it was working fine.”

 

He laughs but it’s not exactly happy, though it’s not quite bitter, either. Looking back at him, realization starts to hit her.

 

“Not the movie. Us. I don’t think we’re working.”

 

“Why not?” Vanya knows that she hasn’t been the most present person lately but she’s trying. And she really likes John, even if she can’t quite love him. But she’d told him that from the beginning. He knows that she just can’t do that.

 

“I just think that maybe I underestimated your seriousness when you said you didn’t want a deep relationship, that you wanted to keep it casual.”

 

Oh. So, he hadn’t known.

 

“I thought we were keeping it casual. I thought we were doing fine.”

 

She watches as he thinks about something and dismisses it but she doesn’t know what. She wants to ask but she holds herself back. Vanya has never been the demanding type of person. Not really.

 

“We were, but I fell in love with you and I know that you don’t want that. And I don’t want you to feel like you have to try to love me. But, I do deserve someone who will love me. And only me.”

 

It’s not as bad as it could be, in the end. They agree that they can be friends someday. John hugs her tightly at the door and tells her to make sure that they always have a way to keep in touch so they can be friend again and she agrees.

 

After he leaves, she sits on her couch and wraps herself in the blanket that somehow smells like Diego.

 

As if on cue, her phone rings and her heart jumps in her chest. She rushes to answer it and smiles at Klaus’s greeting, wondering how he knew to call but not asking.

 

The usual pleasantries are exchanged and Klaus starts to tell her about his latest adventures. She smiles and laughs at all the right times and hopes she’s doing well. She knows she isn’t when Klaus tells her that he happens to be in the neighborhood and is heading her way.

 

They hang up and it’s about thirty minutes later that she opens the door to one of her favorite people. She hugs him without hesitation and he wraps his arms around her, awkwardly walking her backwards into her apartment and kicking the door closed.

 

Sitting on the couch together, he keeps an arm around her shoulders as he asks her how things are going. She shrugs and he tilts his head down to her shoulder.

 

“Why does this blanket smell like Diego?” He asks her suddenly. “Has he been here?”

 

Vanya promptly bursts into tears but doesn’t question Klaus saying that. She doesn’t know why. She should question it, but she doesn’t.

 

Then, she tells him all about seeing Diego a few weeks ago and all of the feelings it dredged up inside of her. She tells him about the way he’d glared at her, the date he’d obviously been on, and how she’d basically run away. Telling him about how the dreams and nightmares are messing with her sleep and making her feel crazy helps some.

 

If anyone understood, it would be Klaus.

 

Though, he’s uncharacteristically quiet as she talks and he rubs her back as she cries in a way she hasn’t let herself since she left the Academy. Since she left Diego so that he could find a better life.

 

Once the crying eases, Klaus makes them both a drink and they cuddle on the couch, watching television and just spending time together. He spends the night, sharing the bed since it’s been getting colder lately and her apartment seems to always be a step above freezing.

 

The next day, she wakes up and Klaus is gone. But, he left her a note and some breakfast in the form of coffee and a muffing from the shop on the corner. She smiles and feels better than she has in a while, having gotten to talk to someone about everything and gotten a full night of sleep.

 

It’s a good feeling and she goes to practice that afternoon in a better state of mind, not messing up even once.

 

It’s nice but she has to wonder how long it will last.

 

**_2x7_ **


	5. Chapter 5

 

**_Ashes to ashes dust to dust, we all know that you like to play rough,_ **

 

DPOV

 

Diego doesn’t hear from Eudora for a while. About two weeks. He doesn’t know if they’re broken up, on a break, whatever. He doesn’t know. He just goes on about his business until one day he gets a call from her and she’s asking him to come over. She’s lonely.

 

Warily, he concedes and heads to her place one evening, wondering if she’s going to bring up the last argument. But she doesn’t and they settle into a routine.

 

He can’t seem to help himself, though, and since going to Vanya’s apartment that one night, he’s been a few more times. Just to check on her. It’s not like she’ll know. But, he has to wonder if he’s fanning the embers that are left from Eudora’s lit match. He probably is.

 

He leaves in the middle of the night a few times, creeping out of the house while Eudora is asleep to make his way across the city to see Vanya.

 

One night, he tries to lie to himself. He tells himself he’s not going to check on her. He’s done with that. He needs to be done with it. She doesn’t care about him and if she catches him here, she’ll call the cops or something. If she does that, everyone will know even if he doesn’t get into any real trouble. If she doesn’t, they’ll inevitably argue and the neighbors will call the cops. Either way, he’d be screwed.

 

He goes anyway.

 

Climbing the fire escape is easy and he gets inside her apartment. Something is different, though. He sees what it is when there’s a man’s jacket on the arm of the couch, men’s shoes beside the couch. He creeps down the hallway, dread building inside of him and he tries to make himself turn back. He doesn’t want to see what’s in her room, what’s in her bed. It’ll hurt. He knows it’ll hurt.

 

He looks anyway. That man, John, is in her bed, arm wrapped around her waist but moving away as she mumbles and moves around. Diego’s fists clench because if he was in that position, if he was that man, if he were able to lie next to her, he would wrap himself around her and chase away the bad dreams. Diego would hold her and make sure she knew she was safe.

 

Abruptly turning away from the scene, he leaves the apartment, not bothering to be as quiet as he usually is. He’s too upset, too angry, to be able to think right at the moment. He leaves and heads straight for the bar.

 

Diego doesn’t make it home until the sun is close to coming up. He stumbles his way into Eudora’s house, his shoulder hitting the wall a few times as he makes his way to the bedroom and removing his clothes before falling into bed.

 

A week later, he goes back. Vanya’s alone and he’s grateful. He lays down on her couch, exhausted emotionally and physically. Diego doesn’t leave until he hears Vanya waking up.

 

Once he’s back at Eudora’s he sees that she isn’t there. She comes in about thirty minutes after he gets there. He looks up quickly as she walks in, feeling bad but sending her a smile anyway. He’s so unbelievably tired.

 

“You get called in early? I had to go meet with a contact.” Lying isn’t a new thing for him, not even when it comes to Eudora, so he doesn’t feel too bad about it. Besides, what else is he supposed to say? That he snuck into Vanya’s apartment and listened to her sleep? Even he knows that’s pretty weird.

 

“No, actually. I called in sick.” Eudora tells him, the tone of her voice letting him know that something is up. Something is off.

 

“Why?” Diego asks, concerned about her and wondering what’s wrong. He has a bad feeling.

 

“I want you to leave.” She tells him in a cold voice. “I want you out of my house and I don’t want you to come back.”

 

“Eudora? What’s going on?” He asks her, wanting to know why she came to this decision but truthfully not blaming her. He hasn’t been around as much as he should be, and his been a bit more distant. Add to that the fact that’s he’s still in love with Vanya and he’s been waiting on this for a while.

 

“I’m tired of you constantly leaving in the middle of the night. There’s no telling how many times you’ve left and I haven’t noticed. If you don’t want to be here then you’re not welcome. Now, get your things and get out of my house. This is it. We’re done.”

 

“I’m sorry.” He tells her, the first honest thing he’s said in a while. He step forward and reaching out a hand even though he’s not sure why. Maybe he wants to comfort her. He does care about her, after all.

 

“I don’t care. Leave.”

 

He leaves, gathering his things quickly and heading to the gym and his room without an argument or any hesitation.

 

Exhaustion takes over and he sleeps the day away easily, getting up in the middle of the night to patrol.

 

He gets home after the sun has risen and he quickly showers before going back up into the gym, intending on leaving to meet up with a few contacts he’s been neglecting. He’s more than a little surprised when Klaus walks in the front door of the gym, looking around the area before spotting Diego.

 

Diego actually smiles at him, glad to see him. But Klaus doesn’t smile back. He stalks over to Diego until he’s directly in front of him, a frown on his face.

 

“Guess where I spent the night?” Klaus asks him, answering before Diego can open his mouth. “At Vanya’s. Where she proceeded to cry her eyes out about _you._ ”

 

He punctuates his words with a sharp finger jab to Diego’s chest.

 

“Imagine my surprise when I hug her and all I can smell, all over her blanket, is _you_.”

 

Diego’s eyes widen because he hadn’t thought he’d left a trace of himself behind, not one that anyone would pick up on. Before he can say anything Klaus continues.

 

“Unless you intend on fixing this, stay away from her, Diego. I mean it.”

 

“Or what?” Diego can’t resist asking because Klaus might care about Vanya but he’s never been in an actual fight and that’s all that Diego does. As angry as Klaus is, he’s not the type to fight.

 

Or so Diego thought.

 

Because Klaus rounds on him quickly, a surprisingly strong right hook hitting him in the jaw. He stumbles back and falls on his butt, half in surprise, and half in pain. Klaus leans over him with an uncharacteristic glare.

 

“Or I use my powers, call on as many dead friends as I can, including Ben, and beat you until you’re forced to stay away from her because you can’t walk. You’ve done enough damage.”

 

He watches Klaus leave, still sitting on the ground, now out of astonishment. He’d have never thought that Klaus had it in him.

 

Despite the very real threat, though, Diego knows that he can’t stay away.

 

**_2x7_ **


	6. Chapter 6

 

**_Oh, it’s dangerous but it feels so good, she’ll never know you like I used to, help me, help you, help me, baby, help you, God, help you,_ **

 

VPOV

 

Life goes on. Klaus keeps calling every other day or once a week, if he can. Sometimes, more time goes between calls but she tries not to worry too much when she doesn’t hear from him.

 

Her sleep doesn’t get any easier but she gets used to it and works around it.

 

Their birthday is getting nearer and she marks a day on her calendar to go to her favorite park to celebrate Ben’s and Five’s lives rather than the start of her own. She won’t let the memory of Diego and her at that same park stop her from going there.

 

She might even send Reginald a card. She knows she’ll send one to Pogo, one to Mom, one to Luther even though Reginald sent him on a mission on the moon, and she considers sending one to Diego and Allison. She doesn’t know yet. She always buys Klaus a card but he’d insisted a long time ago that she keep them with her since he doesn’t have a permanent residence.

 

Vanya worries about that, about him, but he always turns it into a joke. She invites him to the celebration at the park, though she doesn’t invite anyone else. It’s a day for remembrance and celebration, not pain and arguing. The rest might get a card but they don’t get an invitation.

 

On the day, she gets up early and dresses carefully in black jeans, light gray, over-the-knee boots with a flat heel, her stolen black shirt, and an oversized gray, cashmere cardigan. She’s not sure why she wears the shirt except that she can use a little bit of comfort on that day in particular. And that shirt has always brought her comfort despite the meaning behind it.

 

Klaus says nothing when he sees the shirt, though she knows that he knows exactly what shirt it is. Of course he knows. Klaus knows a lot of things he shouldn’t.

 

They spend the afternoon playing on the swings, the see-saw, the slides, and even the monkey bars. They buy snack cakes and candles from the convenience store and Klaus tells her that Ben says thanks for including him and she tries not to cry, just glad that he’s there with them in any form.

 

As they relax on the swings, barely moving, she pulls a small box out of her cardigan pocket and hands it to Klaus. He opens it to reveal the leather band she’d bought the other day. It has a small piece of metal on the leather, a flat circle that’s half-moon and half-sun with the word ‘Forever’ underneath the symbol. She holds up her wrist to show her own bracelet and Klaus grins, wrapping her in a hug while they stay sitting on the swings.

 

Lifting his bracelet she watches as he notices that another bracelet is underneath his that looks exactly the same.

 

“For Ben. I got one for Five at the apartment.” She tells him, looking at the ground as she scuffs the toe of her boot in the dirt.

 

“Thanks.” Klaus tells her with a grin, strapping both bracelets on and putting the box into his coat pocket.

 

Eventually, he has to leave but she tells him she’s going to sit at the park a bit longer. She still has about an hour until complete dark. He gives her another hug and leaves as she stays there, moving the swing a bit more as she looks at the moon that’s barely visible.

 

Vanya can’t help but think of Luther on the moon, Allison in California, and Diego somewhere close by. They might as well be on the moon with Luther for all the distance they keep, even Diego, staying in the same city. If she saw him, she’s not sure what she would do.

 

She likes to think she’d be able to hold a conversation with him this time. Or that he wouldn’t glare at her. Maybe they could work past their differences and become friends again.

 

Laughing at herself, Vanya looks around the nearly empty park. Almost everyone has gone home or is getting ready to head home.

 

Slowly, she gets up and starts to walk along the path that ends closest to her street. She gets home and goes inside, stopping short at the sight of a small, black box on her coffee table. Inside is a silver pendant, about an inch and a half long and shaped like a violin. A small opening in the side of it shows a small piece of flat metal with a groove in it.

 

Sticking her nail into the groove, she pulls and a small blade pops out, a little shorter than the pendant. She laughs lightly, flipping it open and closed for a moment as she studies it. There’s no note with it but the fact that it’s a knife gives her an idea of who it’s from. Grasping the black beaded chain that the pendant hangs from, she closes her eyes and wonders if this changes anything.

 

She doesn’t know.

 

Carrying the pendant to her room, she wraps a piece of tape and then a small rubber band around the middle of it so that it won’t pop open, no matter how unlikely that may seem. Then, she puts the chain around her neck and the metal falls between her breasts and rests against her sternum. She removes her boots, pants, and cardigan before crawling into bed in the black shirt and her panties, curling up under her blankets and clutching the violin knife.

 

Her dreams don’t seem so bad that night.

 

**_2x7_ **


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